Many people confuses love with many other things but it is really quite simple and uncomplicated. Mind you, I’m not an expert on love but this is what I’ve learned in my experience and from what I see in successful relationships around me whether between lovers or friends. I certainly have made plenty of mistakes and I don’t claim to be perfect, but I try to live by these standards.
LOVE IS NOT SELFISH
When you love someone, it is not entirely about you. You don’t judge someone by what they can do for you. You don’t based your degree of love on the amount of things they can give you. If you truly love someone, you love them for who they are and not what you can get out of them. You love them unconditionally and wholeheartedly. You give them your time, energy, love, everything….but you should expect and demand NOTHING in return. Many people have been hurt by love, so they limit their love and devotion by the amount they get back. The truth is if it is meant to be, it will be. If it is not, you move on and be stronger but never hardened your heart because you’re only closing yourself to endless possibilities out there.
A perfect example of this would be a mentor and his pupil. A mentor teaches and guides his pupil. A true mentor wants his pupil to grow, flourish and succeed. Just like a mother bird that teaches her baby chick to fly out of the nest, a teacher encourages and supports without expecting anything back. And when the pupil gains the necessary knowledge and wisdom to be independent, a true mentor will be happy and wish them the best. It is not about the pupil doing something back and owing a debt to the teacher. The mentor will realize that the gift is in knowing that he have helped someone and hopefully that lesson will be passed on to others.
LOVE IS NOT CONTROLLING
Many couples put so much expectations and rules for each other. They want to create the perfect partner in their minds, so they try and change the other person into what the definition of a perfect man/woman/lover/friend is in their minds. They give tests and ultimatums and to do lists to prove their worth. I do admit that I’m a bit guilty of this but I am learning. I just need to remember what made me fall in love with my partner in the first place….that he is special and what he is doesn’t need changing. He is his own unique individual and as long as he loves me in his own way, everything is perfect.
LOVE IS HAPPINESS.
If you both love each other, nothing and no one else should matter. Just look at each other, hold hands and face the world. :)
Whether you set goals and accomplished them together or fail at making something happen, the most important thing is you have each other.
Whatever you are doing..at the end of the day, there is great pleasure in looking at your partner and knowing you have each other.
Some people equate love and happiness with work, accomplishments and responsibilities. I pity the man who can’t find happiness at the simple things in life. Happiness isn’t always about winning or accomplishing a goal. It is finding peace and beauty in your life and surroundings ….whether smelling at a beautiful rose or enjoying the rays of sunlight in your face. Love and happiness is about helping others and doing things you truly enjoy. If you don’t like your job, you are not going to be happy being stuck in it no matter how much fame or fortune it provides. You are not chained to your job or profession….go out and find something else that makes you truly happy. LIVE because life is truly short my friend. I recently lost a patient of mine who is very well known and have accomplished a lot in her life. She lived to be 104 years old and the only thing she cherished was the love and memories she built with her husband, Not the massive fortune she has or that she is a distant cousin of Queen Elizabeth. I missed hearing her stories and advices. She used to serve me tea and crumpets when I come to visit. Almost always before I leave, she would point to my heart and say… That is what really matters.
The most important thing to remember is only you have the power to make yourself happy. Not anyone else.
LOVE, LIVE, LEARN….
MODEL & PHOTOGRAPHER: RicoRacer Flux