RICORACER FLUX: WHY I STAND4LOVE…
My Life has not been a fairy tale and I wish I could tell you that everyone has been accepting of who I am. It has been very difficult growing up gay in a small community with a deeply religious family. I have always known I’m different for as long as I can remember, even at 5 years old. I knew right away that it was something I needed to hide because while I was growing up, I’ve been taught that homosexuality is a sin and I should be ashamed and punished for who I am. At 12 years old, I tried to kill myself but was unsuccessful. I was alone, helpless and hopeless during my teen years until I met a friend who taught me that who I am is okay. At 16, my parents found out that I’m gay. They forced me to be committed in a mental institution for “shock” treatments to “cure” my gayness. I refused. They gave me a choice…SHOCK THERAPY or MOVE OUT. I remember that night very well. It was raining and cold. I grabbed several of my clothes in a garbage bag and head out on my own. The last thing I heard from my parents that night was “From now on, you are dead to us. It would have been better if you have cancer than being gay.” I remembered taking the train not knowing where to go, crying my eyes out. I don’t know how I survived but somehow someway I did. I worked two full time jobs nonstop back to back to put myself through school. Now, I own my own home and I’ve made my own “family” who loves me for who I am.
I am not looking for sympathy or attention and I don’t really expect you to understand where I’m coming from. All my life, I have always fought to be myself and now, I will fight for my right to love and marry the person I want to spend my life with. It is such a simple thing to ask and many take it for granted. My love and dreams are beautiful too. I want to settle down with my husband and a dog in a house with white picket fence. I want to be treated with respect as a human being. I refused to live in a society where two consenting adults can’t love and marry in the eyes of the law. Until that day that I am able to stand across the man I love and say,”I DO”… I will STAND4LOVE. I hope you will join me too.